Anti-technology revolutionaries are plotting to blow up the Vancouver Grizzlies basketball team, which is having the best season in NBA history, in their new, state-of-the-art arena. Only a romance-novel addicted, community college English professor, Sebastian Gianninni, stands in the path of the ruthless New Luddites. With the help of his Professor Uncle Bill, a statistics instructor focused on perfecting his Grand Unifying Theory of Horse Racing; a fencing (the stolen goods kind, not the sword kind) custodial engineer, Lester; and a mother/daughter team of amorous neighbors, Sebastian must foil the plot on land, at sea and on the basketball court, all while attempting to rekindle the romance and passion in his dangerously cooling marriage.